Thoughts on being a "wife"

When my husband proposed to me, all I thought about was planning a wedding and becoming a bride. Those thoughts quickly faded as I realized that after June 26 (my wedding day) I would no longer be a "bride" but a "WIFE". I become frantic trying to read literature (Such as this one!), get advice from married friends I admired, and praying. Lots and lots of prayer. You see, my husband and I dated for nearly 5 year BEFORE getting engaged. We knew we were in love by about the 6th month of dating, but we were waiting for God's timing before moving forward in our relationship. Don't get me wrong, I was READY for that ring!!! But, I am learning there is so much more to love then the ring on my finger. Being a wife, HIS wife, means daily, dying to myself and putting him first.. You see, I believe that love, true love (As you wishhhhh!!!), is, well, Paul says it best:

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. 

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

I have heard it preached that Paul is simply speaking on the Love of God; that we should be encouraged that we have a God who loves us this way but that we, as mere humans, sinners, don't need to hold ourselves to this high standard of love. Well, to me, that is a bunch of hogwash. Being a wife means LOVING my husband and that means doing all the things Paul describes in his letter to Corinth. In a society where we are indoctrinated with "put your needs first" and "think about how this effects your future", it is so easy to loose site of the way we, who are sons and daughters of God, have been called to live and love. Most days, being a wife simply means doing the laundry and picking up around the house. But some days, it means standing in the gap and praying for your husband who is struggling in ways no one else knows. It means being his best friend and letting him share his emotions while still reassuring him that he is "the man". It's on these days, that I have to remember to "not seek its own", my own. To realize that in some moments, his needs are greater then my needs. 

Throughout our year long engagement (yes, we had been together close to six years at this point), a lot of people gave me advice. Some solicited, some not. Some worth their weight in gold, others, not. But the one that has stuck with me, almost as a mantra that I chant to myself at times, is "Spend every day trying to love him more then he loves you". By doing this, I have seen potential arguments fissile, hurt feelings dissipate, and my love for my husband grow.

I have a long way to grow before I will know how to effectively communicate, love, and respect my husband, but I am confident, Christ has given me the capability to accomplish this task. How do I know? I think James tells me the answer to this question:

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind".

Love, Mrs. M.